If you’re seeing what I’m seeing, you’ll agree that these last few months have been among the craziest, busiest times on record.

Confidence is in the market, and everyone seems to be pushing into growth mode.

While these are positive signs for business, this environment spells a challenge for work-life balance and mental health.

Never have I seen a time when I’ve had to recommend that people take time off more than they need to now…

If you’re:

• Feeling busy
• Feeling overwhelmed or exhausted
• Feeling like you’re failing

This topic is dedicated to you.

In fact, this whole month is dedicated to you!

When you’re tired, overwhelmed, or stressed, you simply can’t perform at your best — at work and at home. I’m sure, like me, you’ve already experienced this.

So what can we do today to feel less stressed and more energised?

We can learn to say no to things that don’t add value or aren’t necessary.

While this may sound easy, it is incredibly challenging.

Without even realising, the default in our lives is often yes. A yes reply is perceived as a positive (especially for women) — a yes seems to say we are helpful, others-oriented, and willing to take on more.

But saying yes isn’t always a positive. It can be detrimental to our work performance, and most importantly, our health and mental well-being.

By saying no, we can set the right priorities for our work and daily life. We can exert energy and use our time on what’s truly meaningful, important, and powerful.

I love what Camille Preston wrote in a recent Fortune article, “By setting boundaries, we find the freedom to behave in our best interest, with fewer distractions and fewer unwanted intrusions. And one of the most important aspects … is the ability to say no to the people, activities and engagements that we do not enjoy or that do not advance us personally or professionally.”

So the first step in all of this is to identify those opportunities to say no.

It may be an opportunity to say no, IF…

• It doesn’t align with your top priorities
• If you’re unsure of your priorities, take 15 minutes to reflect.
  • Write down the five most important things in your life or in your work. With much more than five answers, things can no longer be considered a “priority.”
• It doesn’t add value to you or others
• You’d rather not do it, but feel an obligation
• Your main concern is people’s perception of you or the maintenance of your image
• Your decision centers on the fear of missing out
• You have valuable contributions to make in other areas of your life
• You just plain need a break

But how can I say no without seeming self-centered or unhelpful?

You can frame your no answer in a variety of ways and still maintain positive relationships and let others know you are thoughtful and willing to help.

Here are some examples of phrases and scripting to use when saying no.

1. “I wish I could be a part of it. With my plate already full, I will have to decline. I hope you’ll consider me in the future.” (This ensures you don’t close the door on future opportunities).
2. “Thank you so much for inviting me. I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it but I appreciate you thinking of me.”
3. “With the commitments I’ve already made, I’m just not available. Thank you though!”

Ok, so, what are the benefits of saying no?

As Preston shares with us in Fortune, “When you say no to the things that don’t help you, you are, in effect, saying yes to the things that will. By saying no, you open up the space necessary for yes.”

When you say no, you are saying yes to:

1. More time and energy to do what’s most meaningful to you in life
2. Higher quality performance both at work and at home
3. Additional time for wellness, like exercise, healthy eating, meditating, and hobbies
4. More time to spend with those you care most about
5. A confidence and reassurance of who you are and what’s important to you